U Sandžaku kad se dijete rodi, pod jastuk mu umjesto para stave plan grada Sarajeva.

Kažu da su Hercegovci najviše nastradali kad su prvi put dobili struju, pa od radosti ljubili dalekovodnu žicu.

Dolazi Mujo kući i kaže Fati: "Joj Fato, izjebo me Inter, za 100 maraka. Kaže Fata, i mene je izjebo Milan. Kaze Mujo, daj da vidim listić..
- Kakav listić Mujo, nije mi on ostavio nikakav listić?

Crnogorac na sudu radi ubistva žene.
Sudija: "Pa dobro, šta Vam bi, nakon 25 godina braka da ubijete svoju ženu?
Crnogorac: "...a sve danas ću,sutra ću..."

Dobices za ovaj drugi vic :lol: :lol: :lol:

Pitali Mostarca šta će kupiti curi za Valentinovo.
Kaže Mostarac: Kupit' ću joj ćekić, da izbije sebi poklon iz glave.




Momak pita djevojku u sveučilišnoj knjižnici:
"Mogu li sjesti pokraj tebe?"
Djevojka odgovori poprilicno glasno:"Ja ne želim spavati s tobom!"
Svi u knjižnici se zabulje u momka sto je uistinu bilo neugodno.
Nakon par minuta, djevojka je pridje tiho momkovom stolu i rece:
"Ja studiram psihologiju, i ja znam što muskarci misle. Pretpostavljam da
ste se osjećali neugodno, zar ne? "
Momak tada viknu : "500 dolara za jednu noć? To je previše!"
Svi ljudi u knjižnici pogledaše djevojku u šoku.
Na to joj momak šapnu u uho: "Ja studiram pravo, i znam kako zajebati
ljude".

Došao Mujo kući nakon pola godine sa bauštele u Njemačkoj, opalio bi Fatu
al se ne mogu nikako oslobodit djece.
Dosjeti se on pa kaže Fati:
- Kad budemo ručali ti se kao slučajno polij juhom pa idi u kupaonu, a ja
ću za tobom.
I tako jedu oni, a Fata tanjur juhe u krilo i otrči u kupaonu. Ustane Mujo
i ode za njom.
Nema njih nazad i ode jedno od djece vidit gdje su tako dugo.
Poviri kroz ključanicu, dotrči nazad i uplašeno sjedne za stol.
Pitaju ga ostali šta je, a on če:
- Ko prolije juhu, je....
će ga babo.


Mujo:- "Jesi pročito u novinama, da svaki prosječni Bosanac ima osam
spolnih veza prije braka?"
Haso:- "Al se neko najebo u moje ime!"

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Carinik:-Šta imaš u tom dzaku?
Ciga:-Ništa, gospodin carinik, samo pesak!
Carinik:-Jao, mene si nasao da zajebavas, sad ću ti ja pokazati... Uze carinik noz, izbode onaj dzak, kad ono, stvarno samo pesak curi.Pusti ga carinik. Nedugo posle toga, ista scena, opet Ciga gura bicikl, dzak, opet pesak. Posle nekoliko puta, kaže carinik Cigi:
-Meni ovde ništa nije jasno! Pusticu te svaki put, ali da mi kažeš STA ti svercujes?
Ciga:- Pa kako STA, gospodin carinik, pa bicikle:)
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Pričaju Amerikanac, Englez i Rus ko ima najveći avion.
Amer:
-"Naš avion ne može sletljeti nigdje u Europi."
Englez:
- "Naš avion ne može sletjeti na aerodrom u Frankfurtu!"
Rus:
- "Vozim ja avion sa još 19 kopilota kad... čujemo neko zujanje pozadi. Viknem ja 19. kopilotu: "Sergej, idi vidi šta to zuji dok još nije kasno!"
Ode Sergej džipom u srijedu prijepodne i vraća se u subotu popodne i reče mi: "Šefe zaboravili smo zatvoriti prozore od WC-a, uletio BOING 747 i zuji oko sijalice.

Bio momak u vojsci i niko mu se, osim strine, nije javljao ni pisao. Jednog dana se on nešto zamislio pa reče:
- Kad izadjem iz vojske, ne jebem nikog, samo strinu!


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Nanoooo, nanooo... De mi izmiksaj šlag! Dobro sine, evo ti.... š-š-š-š-š šlag, šlag!

___________________________

- I zete, šta kažeš za moju ćerku, savršena, ne znaš šta bi ti se pre svidelo na njoj, da l lepota, da l pamet, da l to što je vredna, a?
- Dupe.
- Molim?
- Ima savršeno dupe, a ni sise joj nisu za bacanje?
- Ma nemoj karabin da radi.
- Ajde taste, ne seri, ti si se kao oženio zbog dobrog podvarka, jaka četvorka gospođe Bube je bila krucijalna, nemoj da se lažemo.
- I to što kažeš.

Šta uradi lav kad se vrati iz Austrije???

Namesti dva ciganina na stubove kapije ;-) :-D

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